I have a few blogs, and I decided to consolidate them here. I’m going to be moving them over and re-posting them here on Lancing a Windmill. Enjoy.


“The Hospital”
from The Benefit of the Doubt

I didn’t expect to ever start a blog. I didn’t expect that I would ever have a reason. I didn’t expect to be in the hospital today. Life is full of surprises.

For starters, I have a good friend who’s in the Intensive Care Unit with acute liver failure and lung problems. She’s comatose and there’s about a one in three chance that she makes it with no lasting damage. It’s still pretty surreal, the whole situation. It’s a very frightening and off-setting thing to see one of your best friends hooked up to machines to keep her breathing. It’s a very real possibility that she  will die sometime this week, but that’s not what this blog is about. I hope you got that by the title.

A close friend of mine was skyping with her boyfriend recently. They had set up a skype date of sorts. She had had other plans that would keep her occupied until the time they’d set for the skype date, but she was really looking forward to talking to him. While they were talking, she was talking with her roommates about their plans and activities and they asked why she wasn’t going to the things they wanted to go to. She said that she just hadn’t planned anything and didn’t really feel like going. This poor girl, her boyfriend thought she was talking about the time they’d set for their skype date when she said that she hadn’t planned anything; he felt like she was self-conscious or ashamed of him or that she didn’t care enough to mention to the roommates that she’d set apart time for him. When she mentioned the time when she hadn’t planned anything, she was referring to a portion of the time during her “other plans that would keep her occupied” in which she just wouldn’t be doing anything with the rest of the group.

I heard her say to him: “Can’t you just give me the benefit of the doubt?”

I began to wonder, How often am I that boyfriend? Do I ever do that as a friend? Do I jump to the worst possible conclusion with friends and strangers and neighbors, etc.? Do I do that to God? Do I trust Him and give Him the benefit of the doubt?

So now I’m here in the hospital. The doctors aren’t sure that she’ll make it. In fact, they’re about 65% sure that she won’t make it. It’s a long shot, but she can make it and recover and come out of all of this perfectly okay.

Since God is the Creator of everything (that includes the Earth, me and my friend, her liver, this hospital and…well, everything), I figure it’s a pretty good idea to leave things in His hands and trust that He’ll take care of things. He teaches us that “If ye have faith, and doubt not…. all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive” (Matt 21:21-22). Who am I to think that He won’t be able to take care of things. It doesn’t do me any good to doubt. It doesn’t do any good for others if I doubt. 

The benefit of any doubt is that it’s just one side of the coin, and we can turn it over whenever we decide to do so. The other side of this coin is life, smiles, friends, happy songs and inside jokes. The other side of that coin is waiting to be looked at.