Everyone needs a good quote wall.
(That can be read as a wall of good quotes or a good wall that has quotes on it.)

 

If I don’t get the whaling gear, I’m not going to BestBuy anymore! -Ethan

I tend to make pretty high demands when I request to be removed from email lists.

 

Your dating advice gets a lot better now that I don’t live with you. -Wes

Ahh old roommates. Thanks for taking my dating advice now that I’m married.

 

Jeff had to call a party foul because Sarah Workman almost got creamed in the head by an airborne watermelon. -Ethan

True story.

 

Have you ever ironed a pancake? -Michael Rollins

Yeah, I’ve got no context for this one.

 

It’s a mega-pram! –Colin Furze

“That’s not a pram; that’s a pram!

 

You can’t tickle a liquid! -Rachel

Apparently when people are very relaxed, they become liquids. And liquids, my friends, are not ticklish.

 

Nobody gets hit with a chalupa at 60mph with no lasting consequences -Ethan

You’re going to have to ask Rachel about this one.

 

Do not underestimate the power of the Holy Paddy Wagon! -Kevin

Apparently my van has a great name and great spiritual power…

 

I sweat when I eat. -Dallin

quote-in-the-sweat-of-thy-face-shalt-thou-eat-bread-bible-303374

This is why.
Also there’s a whole blog about your problem, Dallin.

 

It was a pretty quiet apartment, except for Vomiting Victor -Raymond Cope

I will never complain about neighbors again.

 

Well, at least I don’t miss the toilet when I’m awake. -Ethan

I don’t seem to recall the story behind this one.

 

All of the Irishman I have in me is a biker. -Ethan

I do seem to recall the story behind this one.

 

Rachel: I get jealous when you’re on Family Search. I mean, I’m alive and I’m right here.
Ethan: Sorry for turning my heart to my kindred dead.

I’m not sorry.

 

Assuming Brad weighs about 150 pounds, all we need is 75 pounds of zucchini. -Ethan

This should do.

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