So today I discovered that many couples (at least in Provo or at BYU) don’t tend to know one another very well when they get serious/engaged/married. I talked with my neighbor about this for a while, and told her that I feel that on a date you can get to know a person much better by asking them if they’ve ever collected anything than by asking what they are studying. Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying; it’s still really good to know what career goals your significant other has. However, if you know that, but you don’t know them, I think there’s some room for improvement. My neighbor mentioned that “Have you ever collected anything?” is an excellent question, and wanted a list of good get-to-know-you questions that will actually help to get to know a person. Here goes:
Disclaimer: I’m not saying that you should prepare a list of these questions and ask them all, in order, on the first date. Rather, I mean to say that over the course of a relationship or courtship, this type of question can help get to know a person better.
Do you have any collections?
What’s your favorite shape cloud?
How many uncles do you have? Tell me about them.
What’s your favorite color, and why?
Do you know a foreign language? If you could learn another, what would it be?
What makes you most happy?
What makes you sad?
How do you define a classic?
Do you sing in the shower? Wait a second, everyone does… What songs do you sing in the shower?
If you were Italian, what would you change your name to?
How do you think we can effectively end racism, or at least make greater strides in that direction?
When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Cats vs. Dogs? Do you have/like/want pets?
What do you like to do to make other people happy?
What’s your favorite class you’ve ever taken?
If you could be the head of a company, what company would it be?
What’s your favorite get-to-know-you question? (Then you ask that question, duh)
What’s your favorite sound or smell?
What’s the soundtrack to your life? (not favorite songs, but rather songs that describe your life best or would provide the most appropriate background music)
What are the best weapons in a food fight?
What does trust mean to you?
If you could have a useless and good for nothing super power, what would it be?
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Describe your worst cooking experience.
Describe the most appropriate response to a crazy tantrum. (Note: not a child throwing a tantrum, but rather an adult throwing a tantrum.)
What would you do if we were on a date, and a friend of yours/mine needed a ride to the hospital?
What’s the most embarrassing thing your family could do to you?
How do you define success?
Do you go to church? Do you like church? What role does religion play in your life?
Have you ever considered keeping bees?
What’s item #3 on your bucket list?
I’ll add more as they come up. In the relationship I’m in, these kind of questions get asked all the time.